Getting Over Someone

Basic question here: how can I tell when I’m over someone and ready to be with someone else?

- C.G., Boston, MA

That is a basic question, but not a simple one. I’m not sure I can even answer it.

Sometimes hearing someone else’s experiences put things in perspective. Here is a situation concerning a person I dated, how I personally view it, and how I make it work for me. Maybe this example will help clear things up a little bit for you too.

In my life, I’ve seen a lot of relationships and been envious of very few. I see a lot of phoniness, relationships of convenience, and people together for all the wrong reasons.

But I knew that my relationship with her was something incredibly, incredibly special. I’d never felt anything like that; it was something totally different than all the rest I’d ever been in. It was comparing apples to oranges, as the saying goes.

In every way, I found her to be the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. We showed each other our best and our worst and remained together because we believed in each other as individuals and believed in us as a couple.

It’s interesting to think of all the things we are taught and all we are not. People are taught a million things growing up: how to read, how to use a stove without burning their hands, how to fold a towel, how to drive, and so on.

But we’re never taught some of the things that are imperative in relationships; we’re somehow expected to learn them as we go and by trial and error. I, like many others, never learned how to trust someone to give them all of my feelings, so I’d always held something back, which isn’t fair.

I also never learned how to forgive someone that I loved when they hurt me. And I certainly never learned what to do when you find someone who is perfect for you. It sounds like such a great thing, but it can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever experience because you want it to work out more than you want anything else in your life.

And sometimes, by the time you start to realize these things, it’s too late to make everything right.

Making her cry was the worst thing I’ve ever done and just thinking about it hurts me more than anything I’ve ever lost, never achieved, failed at, or I could really explain here.

And now she’s gone. We had talked about “forever” but this isn’t the kind of “forever” I thought we meant.

Who we were at the time we made our memories, we’ll always be – that man will always love that woman and that woman will always love him just as much. I still miss so many things about her, namely counting on – and believing in – us.

I still think about her every day and wonder, wonder, and wonder. I made her an enormous part of my life and now that she’s gone, that life as I knew it is too.

The pain is normal. But don’t think that because you feel pain you can’t move on. What happened between the two of you obviously affected you, so the hurting is expected. Truthfully, and unfortunately, it may be felt for a long, long time.

If you think about it, you probably still don’t feel great about the moment you found out you didn’t get that job you really wanted or a pet that died when you were a kid. You may never feel perfectly fine about this situation either.

What I realized, and what you must too, is that you have to move on. They have. They have their own life going, and whether it’s them being alone or them being with someone else – it’s still them being without you.

There is no other option; you can’t stay closed off and emotionally unavailable forever in hopes they will change their mind about you or that it will work out somehow. Knowing when to let go and move forward it is the hard part.

You don’t want to do it when you’re emotionally unavailable, angry at life, or will be anything but the best person you can be to whomever it is you end up with next. I don’t know if you’re there. Maybe you don’t even know if you’re there.

Ectopic Pregnancy – Defination, Causes, Symptoms And Treatment

Ectopic pregnancy is a condition in which a fertilized egg settles and grows in any location other than the inner lining of the uterus . About 1% of pregnancies are in an ectopic location with implantation not occurring inside of the womb, and of these 98% occur in the Fallopian tubes. In a typical ectopic pregnancy, the embryo does not reach the uterus, but instead adheres to the lining of the Fallopian tube. The implanted embryo burrows actively into the tubal lining. Most commonly this invades vessels and will cause bleeding. This bleeding expels the implantation out of the tubal end as a tubal abortion. Some women thinking they are having a miscarriage are actually having a tubal abortion. There is no inflammation of the tube in ectopic pregnancy. The pain is caused by prostaglandins released at the implantation site, and by free blood in the peritoneal cavity, which is locally irritant. Sometimes the bleeding might be heavy enough to threaten the health or life of the woman. Usually this degree of bleeding is due to delay in diagnosis, but sometimes, especially if the implantation is in the proximal tube it may invade into Sampson artery , causing heavy bleeding earlier than usual. An ectopic pregnancy can’t proceed normally. The developing embryo can’t survive, and the growing placental tissue may destroy important maternal structures. Without treatment, life-threatening blood loss is possible. About one in every 40 to 100 pregnancies is ectopic. Thanks to earlier diagnosis and treatment, the chance for future healthy pregnancies is better than ever before.

Ectopic means “out of place.” An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy where the fetus is not growing in the usual location (the uterine cavity or the womb). Ectopic pregnancies can occur in a number of unusual locations, each with different characteristic growth patterns. Almost all ectopic pregnancies occur in fallopian tubes (tubes from uterus), so this is also known as “Tubal Pregnancy”. Since the fallopian tubes are not large enough to accommodate a growing embryo, the pregnancy cannot continue normally. If identified early, the embryo is removed. In some cases, the embryo grows until the fallopian tube is stretched so much that the tube ruptures. Rupture of the tube is a medical emergency that requires immediate medical attention because it can result in severe hemorrhaging. An ectopic pregnancy is a potentially life-threatening condition.

Causes of Ectopic pregnancy

An ectopic pregnancy is caused by a disruption in a woman’s reproductive anatomy or the timing of specific reproductive events. Ectopic pregnancy is common in women age 20 to 29, but the cause is not always known. However, previous damage to one of the two fallopian tubes may obstruct the passage of the fertilized egg along the tube to the uterus. The egg then implants in the wall of the tube instead of in the uterus. This prior damage may have been caused by an unsuccessful or a reversed sterilization procedure or a fallopian tube infection. Ectopic pregnancies are more common in women using an intrauterine contraceptive device, partly because these devices increase the risk of a pelvic infection in women who exposed to sexually transmitted diseases.

Symptoms of Ectopic pregnancy

1. Nausea, vomiting.

2. Dizziness.

3. Low blood pressure.

4. Breast tenderness.

5. Frequent urination.

Treatment of Ectopic pregnancy

Medicine, surgery, or a combination of the two are usually used to end an ectopic pregnancy before it endangers the mother. In a few cases, very early ectopic pregnancies can be watched closely to see whether the pregnancy will miscarry on its own. Emergency medical help is needed if the area of the ectopic pregnancy ruptured. (Shock is an emergency condition.) Treatment for shock may include keeping the woman warm, raising her legs, and giving oxygen. Fluids by IV and a blood transfusion may be needed. Surgery (laparotomy) is done to stop blood loss (in the event of a rupture). This surgery is also done to confirm the diagnosis of ectopic pregnancy, remove the abnormal pregnancy, and repair any tissue damage. In some cases, removal of the fallopian tube may be necessary. A mini-laparotomy and laparoscopy are the most common surgical treatments for an ectopic pregnancy that has not ruptured.

Play Some Card Games

Are you looking for a way to spend a rainy afternoon with friends? Or are you trying to plan some fun activities for your next big party? If so, the answer to your questions is simple: card games. It seems so obvious, but perhaps that is exactly the reason you forgot about it.

Card games are great for a lot of reasons. One of the best reasons that card games are great for almost any social gathering or party is because they allow people to be social and enjoy time together. There is nothing worse than planning a party for friends that includes nothing other than watching movies. Who wants to gather at a social event and then do a totally non-social activity? Card games are great because they offer more focus and entertainment than simply allowing people to mingle and yet they maintain the social atmosphere. People can share in great conversations while spending hours playing card games.

Another great reason to include card games at your next event is because they are fun. I cannot think of many people that do not enjoy good card games. Card games are tried and true fun for almost everyone. It can be hard to keep people entertained with the variety of new games that are on the market simply because people do not know how to play them. It can be easier and just as much fun to entertain people with card games that they are familiar with. Something about a great hand of rummy or euchre never gets old.

If you have invited people to your party that are not familiar with the classic card games, don’t worry because it is easy and fun to teach card games to people. That is another great benefit of card games. You will not have to waste half of your time teaching the card games. Most people pick them up easily. So allow yourself to invite people who are masters at your favorite card games and who are novices at the games. Everyone can be having fun together in no time.

Card games are great because there is such a variety to choose from. Don’t like euchre? Don’t worry, you can try poker or rummy instead. Card games provide literally endless hours of fun. If your guests have been playing poker for hours, change it up and teach them canasta or bid euchre instead. There are enough good card games to keep any party nothing but fun. Look no further than card games to make your next party or social gathering the one people will not want to miss.